If I were a con artist and owned a _______ company

If I were a con artist and owned a toilet paper company, I would buy out all the other toilet paper companies and then raise my prices super high. The demand would be very high, and I would be the only company left. As the only company, everyone would come to me, and with my prices SO high, I would make a mega ton of money. I mean, let's be honest, who wants to go without toilet paper? 

If I were a con artist and owned a gasoline company, I would just be a regular gas company owner. Oh, burn! 

If I were a con artist and owned a pet breeding company, I would stop owning that company because breeding is stupid. Then I would go work at the local humane society. 

If I were a con artist and owned a shoe company I would also be a foot surgeon. I would engineer all my shoes to be insanely stylish and comfortable AND CHEAP... at first. After a few weeks of wearing them, the shoes would severely mess up your feet and you would have to come have me do surgery on your feet. Shoe money + surgery money = lots of money. People would still buy my shoes even though they screw up your feet because they're so affordable and stylish.

 

If I were a con artist and owned a Christmas tree company, I would have fantastic tall and full trees. I would only sell my trees, however, to families with a member who has an unstable mental health past. I would spray all my trees with unscented hairspray (so nobody would know) and when families turned on the fireplace, their houses would catch on fire. This is a terrible thought, right? Burning people's houses down and blaming a mentally unstable person in their family? Wrong! I would also be a firefighter. Not a regular firefighter, though. I would just happen to be near when the fires start, so I would put out the fire and save all the people in the house! 
Tree money + reward money from the city for saving countless people = lots of money
Bam. 

If I were a con artist and owned a cell phone company, I would have really cheap phones and plans. That way, more people would buy my products. Then, I would arm the phones so that whenever they're on, they produce a nearly inaudible frequency that would make all my customers go completely insane. The only parallel between all these thousands of people going insane and ruining their lives would be their cell phone company, and that is a highly improbable parallel to be at fault, so I would never be blamed. 

Eventually, though, I'd probably be found out and get sent to jail. So I guess all of this planning is in vain. 

This Year's Adventures

Since it's December, almost the end of the year, I've decided to make a compilation of my favorite adventures of the past year, because frankly, this past year has been quite adventurous. Since I take photos of pretty much everything, this will be predominantly photos.
Enjoy.

Okay, so I know this is an oddball to start out with.. But here my weirdo choir friends an I conducted... Wait for it... A fake wedding. We were in girls choir, did I mention? That's right, all girls. An all girl party.. Conducting a wedding. Nonetheless, we created a quite questionable wedding "dress" for one and a "suit" for the other. Whilst marrying the "couple," The lines, I believe, were "By the power vested in me--which is none--I pronounce you couple married." It was an  interesting day, to say the least.

May 20: A partial solar eclipse visible here at my very own home. The light does an interesting dance through the trees.

May 28th: Hiking with my dad in Big Cottonwood Canyon. Yes, it was May and there was 2.5 feet of snow in some places. Yet, we were in shorts and short sleeves. The jackets weren't needed after the first few minutes. That, I would say was an adventure.

The Epic Summer Cross-Half-Country road trip. Utah to Wyoming, South Dakota, Nebraska, Missouri, Kansas, Iowa, Illinois, then back to Nebraska and home to Utah. (Funny how we were in Nebraska 3 out of 9 nights and that was the only sign we didn't get.. /: ) July 6-15. 

 Mount Rushmore was one of the highlights of my year. I've wanted to go there for years and it was awesome.

The Henry Doorly Zoo & Aquarium in Omaha, Nebraska. One of the 3 largest zoos in the US. This place was HUGE. 

This.. This was amazing. Eating dinner on a bridge over the Mississippi River at sunset, near Keokuk, Iowa. We even got a show-- the bridge had a passageway underneath where we were standing to let trains through over the river, but when boats need to come through the opposite direction, the bridge has to move. Surprise! Moving bridge! 

Last destination. 

I planted a tree. Yeah, it's sideways, but I planted a tree. 

July 28th

Building a sandcastle with my cousins. It was a bit of a homely thing, but it stood for a good amount of time. August 17th

September 3rd: Rock Climbing.
My dad and I drove out to the Great Salt Lake and climbed this very large "rock." It was a lovely day.

This is the Veteran's Memorial Cemetery in Utah. My uncle is buried here, and this summer I decided to collect stones and paint them. They all fit in the palm of my hand, and I painted something different on all of them, then took them and put them on every headstone in the row in which my uncle is buried. September 15th. 

September 20th: Sprinkler running in choir uniforms.

More "rock" climbing. September 23rd at Bridal Veil Falls. The water was SO cold. 

November 3rd: A trip to Logan, and we found an antique shop! I puffy heart antique shops. 

December 12th. Singing at the Utah State Capitol in a circle, center of the rotunda, with our directer in the middle of us. We sang a song called Carol of Joy which is a lovely Christmas song. It was the highlight of my day. 

I Like Waffles

One day I decided to make waffles. Since I'm a lazy, cheap teenager, I grabbed the box of Jiffy mix and the waffle iron and got to work. I was mega excited for these waffles, guys. I would equate it to a person who hasn't eaten in two days. I was that excited. So on the box there are all these options of how many waffles you want the mix to make. I didn't want many, so I chose the smallest option, which was 4. Four waffles. I would have two and leave the rest for someone else. So I started cooking my waffles! The anticipation was kind of crazy. I waited for the little light on the iron to turn on and I opened it and it was like heaven. There it was, waffle heaven. So I ate it. I actually kinda snarfed it down.. I imagine it wasn't very attractive.. 

So I kept on making my waffles. When I got to number 5, I knew something wasn't quite right. 5. I looked at the box. 4. But.. But I have 4 already and lots more mix! 

I ended up with 9 waffles, coming to the conclusion that I am a wizard. 
A waffle wizard. 

Not a pancake wizard. 

Because that has absolutely no alliteration. And pancakes are gross. Who came up with pancakes anyway? They don't even taste like cake.. Cake is good. Pancakes, not. 

Whoever came up with waffles is kind of a super genius cause those things are dang good. 

When I was in the third grade, my school started at 9, and I was a morning person, so I was up in plenty of time to get ready for school with time to spare. My mom, being awesome as she is, made me pancakes. Every morning before school I had apple cinnamon pancakes with maple syrup. And they were delightful. 
Maybe that's why I don't like them anymore.

 
Or maybe it's just plain pancakes. Man, those are nasty. But plain waffles aren't. 

Hence, 
Waffles > pancakes.