"I like blue because it reminds me of Jesus."

My latest party in life is hanging out with first-graders. Honestly, it's crazy and exhausting because they're really just bundles of bottomless energy, but they're also super sincere and innocent in the greatest ways. They are the biggest handful, especially since I work with a pretty difficult class, but what makes up for it is the hugs, smiles, and of course the hysterical things they say. 

My first encounter with an imaginative version of reality was in my first week at the school. I had only been working for four or five days, and I hadn't gotten a badge yet, so one of the boys in my class looked up at me and said, "Miss Beynum, do you work here?" (None of them say my name quite right.)
And I said, "Yep, I do!" 
"Where's your badge?"
"Well, I haven't gotten one yet, because I've only been working here a few days. I'll get one soon."
"Oh, so you're kind of in training right now?" 
"Yeah, that's about right," I say.
"So you have to earn your badge!" 
I smile and just sort of nod my head (this boy will talk forever if you keep on with him). 
So a few days pass, I've had my badge made, and I'm wearing it. The same boy comes up to me. 
"Miss Beynum! You earned your badge! Is your training over?" 
"Yep, I did!"
"But it doesn't have picture on it," he says, "so that means it's not a real badge yet." 
"Well, I never got my picture taken. I didn't work here when it was picture day. I was in China."
"When will you get a picture on your badge?"
"Probably not until next year."
"Oh. Okay. Next year your badge will be real." 


The next week, we were working on opinion writing, where each kid had to decide which color was his favorite and then list three reasons why. Now, you must understand that these reasons don't altogether make complete sense, nor do they have to be at all complicated, because they're still really young. Consequently, reasons like, "I like yellow because it's the color of the sun" were very common. But I have to say, my favorite answer that I stumbled upon while wandering around the classroom was from another seven-year-old boy, who wrote "I like blue because it reminds me of Jesus." And I giggled a bit, but then I thought, you know what? That's a perfectly acceptable reason. 


A few days later, we were working on another piece of opinion writing about their favorite fables, and I had this same boy in a break-out group with two other girls, one of whom has some trouble focusing and completing work. She had been complaining to me that she didn't want to do it, and the boy, without missing much of a beat, says, "You have to do your schoolwork or you'll never get a job and you'll just be a hobo!" 


My mom works at my school as well, and I go into her office sometimes to chat with her before my shift starts. One of my students was in there working with another staff member, so I pointed to my mom and asked the student, "Did you know that's my mom?" and made sort of a funny face at the student. Then came the reply, "That's like a mom having a mom!" Of course I said, "I'm not a mom! I'm only 19!" "That's like a grown-up having a mom! That's silly!" 


Today one of the boys who is prone to mischief had gone to the restroom and when he came back, one of the teachers in the classroom across the hall motioned me over to the hallway. 
"Are you going to tell me that he was playing in the bathroom?"
"Yep," she says, "a couple of my students said he was standing on the counter turning the lights on and off."
"Oh, geez. Okay. Thanks, I'll talk to him."
I walked over and gave him a little look, which he responded to with a great sigh, then started walking over to me. (He is six.) He walked to me, but then walked past me, so I asked him where he was going. He walked out into the hallway. "Come on, let's talk about it out here," very matter-of-factly.
"Alright, so tell me what you did wrong."
"I was standing on the sink," he admits, "but it was an accident!"
"How can standing on the sink be an accident, sir?" 
"Well, I'm too short to reach," (he is very small) "so I need a way to reach." 
"There are stools in there for that exact purpose."
"I don't think there are any stools in there."
"There are definitely stools in the bathroom. So until you can reach, please use the stools and don't stand on the counter. It's really dangerous, and nobody wants you to get hurt." 
"Okay. I wish I could reach..." as he walks back into class. 


And here's one of my favorites. In history last month we learned about the conquistadors and all the weapons and tools they used to defeat the Aztec people. So when asked about all the things they brought with them to defeat the Aztecs, a six-year-old girl yells adamantly, "SMALLPOX!" I honestly can't really tell you why this was so funny to me, but it was probably because all the other kids were saying in average-volumed voices "Horses." "Helmets and armor!" and other such things. 


Until later, that's all for now, folks. But I promise there will be more. 

Red Group

Oh my red group. I adore them. A list of their hobbies and interests include the following: 

• shouting HELLO TEACHA BRAAANN every time they saw me
• singing, or
• laughing at me when I sing, or
• playing games that involve singing
• doing the hokey-pokey while laughing hysterically the entire time
• mauling me whenever I turned on the front camera
• ducking their heads under the table when reviewing the rules, then
• being surprised when I realized they were still at the table and hadn't disappeared altogether

This is Angela. She's very quiet and shy but she loved us all so much. She was constantly giving hugs and little grins. 

Here is Zack. Zack has the cutest smile of any person I've seen on earth and also the biggest ears I've ever seen on a child. He would wave to me every day, then count on his fingers from 1 to 10 and say, "High five!" and give me a double high five. He probably weighs like 30 pounds but he is the cutest little stick child. 

This is Karo, who has the best laugh in the world. Toward the tend of the semester, we all look to calling him KAROOOoooooo which always produced this face. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's what produced this face for this picture. 

Kiki was very quiet and shy just like Angela, but she was not as sweet as Angela. In fact, she was kind of a little booger which nobody would ever expect. She liked to tease other kids which was not chill, but she also would stop when you told her to, so that was really nice.

Bailey is a pageant girl. Very sassy. She always wore very complex and fashionable outfits to school, usually including hats or bows. Not sure how that worked out for nap time, but whatever. 

This is Aric, who can spell which never ceased to amaze me. Also he came up with spontaneous sentences from nowhere so that was amazing as well. He's in love with Cindy and would always spell her name, nbd. 

Here's Cindy. She and Aric live in the same apartment complex and I'm pretty sure their parents have probably arranged their marriage by now because they are SO IN LOVE. They hold hands everywhere they go. It was a rough day when I had to split them up. 

Joe was my first favorite student and stayed one of my faves throughout the semester. He has brown wavy hair which is possibly one of the reasons why he stuck out to me in the first place. He's kind of a strange one, because he's a little bit shy, but also not... I don't know. Anyway, I dig him a lot. 

If you follow me on Insta (@bbryyyn, peeps) you know I AM OBSESSED WITH FRANK. Oh my gosh. He is one of the biggest trouble makers but oh my heavens he is adorable and really so sweet. I taught him how to say "I love you" because I said it to him every morning. His parents own a chain of restaurants in Southern China and they fed us for free like four times, then brought snacks to school functions a couple times too. His mom is beautiful and I love her dearly. One of the saddest things to me is how I could never adequately express how much I love Frank and Grace because language barriers uuggghhh. Anyway, on our last day, he said my name for the first time ever, the little booger. He said "Goodbye, Teacher Bryn. I love you." Then he kissed my cheek and I walked out of the room and died inside forever. 

Bonus pictures of my faves making awkward faces