"I like blue because it reminds me of Jesus."

My latest party in life is hanging out with first-graders. Honestly, it's crazy and exhausting because they're really just bundles of bottomless energy, but they're also super sincere and innocent in the greatest ways. They are the biggest handful, especially since I work with a pretty difficult class, but what makes up for it is the hugs, smiles, and of course the hysterical things they say. 

My first encounter with an imaginative version of reality was in my first week at the school. I had only been working for four or five days, and I hadn't gotten a badge yet, so one of the boys in my class looked up at me and said, "Miss Beynum, do you work here?" (None of them say my name quite right.)
And I said, "Yep, I do!" 
"Where's your badge?"
"Well, I haven't gotten one yet, because I've only been working here a few days. I'll get one soon."
"Oh, so you're kind of in training right now?" 
"Yeah, that's about right," I say.
"So you have to earn your badge!" 
I smile and just sort of nod my head (this boy will talk forever if you keep on with him). 
So a few days pass, I've had my badge made, and I'm wearing it. The same boy comes up to me. 
"Miss Beynum! You earned your badge! Is your training over?" 
"Yep, I did!"
"But it doesn't have picture on it," he says, "so that means it's not a real badge yet." 
"Well, I never got my picture taken. I didn't work here when it was picture day. I was in China."
"When will you get a picture on your badge?"
"Probably not until next year."
"Oh. Okay. Next year your badge will be real." 


The next week, we were working on opinion writing, where each kid had to decide which color was his favorite and then list three reasons why. Now, you must understand that these reasons don't altogether make complete sense, nor do they have to be at all complicated, because they're still really young. Consequently, reasons like, "I like yellow because it's the color of the sun" were very common. But I have to say, my favorite answer that I stumbled upon while wandering around the classroom was from another seven-year-old boy, who wrote "I like blue because it reminds me of Jesus." And I giggled a bit, but then I thought, you know what? That's a perfectly acceptable reason. 


A few days later, we were working on another piece of opinion writing about their favorite fables, and I had this same boy in a break-out group with two other girls, one of whom has some trouble focusing and completing work. She had been complaining to me that she didn't want to do it, and the boy, without missing much of a beat, says, "You have to do your schoolwork or you'll never get a job and you'll just be a hobo!" 


My mom works at my school as well, and I go into her office sometimes to chat with her before my shift starts. One of my students was in there working with another staff member, so I pointed to my mom and asked the student, "Did you know that's my mom?" and made sort of a funny face at the student. Then came the reply, "That's like a mom having a mom!" Of course I said, "I'm not a mom! I'm only 19!" "That's like a grown-up having a mom! That's silly!" 


Today one of the boys who is prone to mischief had gone to the restroom and when he came back, one of the teachers in the classroom across the hall motioned me over to the hallway. 
"Are you going to tell me that he was playing in the bathroom?"
"Yep," she says, "a couple of my students said he was standing on the counter turning the lights on and off."
"Oh, geez. Okay. Thanks, I'll talk to him."
I walked over and gave him a little look, which he responded to with a great sigh, then started walking over to me. (He is six.) He walked to me, but then walked past me, so I asked him where he was going. He walked out into the hallway. "Come on, let's talk about it out here," very matter-of-factly.
"Alright, so tell me what you did wrong."
"I was standing on the sink," he admits, "but it was an accident!"
"How can standing on the sink be an accident, sir?" 
"Well, I'm too short to reach," (he is very small) "so I need a way to reach." 
"There are stools in there for that exact purpose."
"I don't think there are any stools in there."
"There are definitely stools in the bathroom. So until you can reach, please use the stools and don't stand on the counter. It's really dangerous, and nobody wants you to get hurt." 
"Okay. I wish I could reach..." as he walks back into class. 


And here's one of my favorites. In history last month we learned about the conquistadors and all the weapons and tools they used to defeat the Aztec people. So when asked about all the things they brought with them to defeat the Aztecs, a six-year-old girl yells adamantly, "SMALLPOX!" I honestly can't really tell you why this was so funny to me, but it was probably because all the other kids were saying in average-volumed voices "Horses." "Helmets and armor!" and other such things. 


Until later, that's all for now, folks. But I promise there will be more.